Being home always brings out the kids in me. I think im like a kids trapped in young adults punya body.haha.Well my acts shows a far way younger beyond my age whenever im at home. Maybe because my giddy brother and sisters punya fe'el kot >.<  Oh ye, last time when i was in first year , there is 2 seniors aided us in our architecture workshop. I always thought that they are somehow like a kids trapped in a adults body . luls .Because they are so bright , fresh with ideas and also gila haha. Somehow i think bende tu dah terkene batang hidung sendiri sekarang . but yeah , minus the part which is bright , fresh idea tu lah . I dont really have that kut in me.

So actually earlier today , my mum ask me to go to perform subuh with her in the mosque. So as reluctant as i was when i was a kid, i always try to find excuses and 'mengelat' like a kids. Its not that i dont want to go , maybe i just want to be playful . Haha so at the end i followed jugaklah my mum to the masjid. I drove speedy and playfully in the quite empty road , taking granted that we already late. Arrived , im not really surprise to see the crowd. Actually its quite crowded jugak tau . double parking everywhere and packed la. x sunyi . Subuh at Masjid Kota Damansara i tell you, buka satu saf 2 saf okey . Ramai gak. I think people dah ada kesedaran nowadays.

Cut to the chase, in the woman area, there is a 'mayat' wanita covered in kain batik with her relatives all over her in the praying area. I was so shocked to see them. Its early subuh , yet they are ready for the solat jenazah.I dont really see death too often like a doctor kan . Seeing them in 28th ramadhan really sadden me to the bottom of my heart. Once ago , like 9 years ago i think,my mother lose her father in 25 ramadhan. Just a few days before we decided to go back balik kampung beraya, he left us . I saw my mum being sad for a quite some time .Well , its her father anyway. The one she grow up with. I just cant imagine how i would face that someday. I could barely survive without my parents . So , at 28 ramadhan , i finally felt a kickstart in my pengangguran . hopefully .

Fin

oh hi , long time no see . I've been a little bit busy and sometime i forgot the password though.haha.So this is 2015 already , in the middle of the year sudah . How time flies kan,surprisingly, i finished my bachelor degree like two weeks ago and has been an ultimate free peeerrrssssooooooon evaaaaah . not surprise eh ? haha well for me, ive been so gratefully lucky to past this chapter  of my life. So much things has happened over the years where i couldn't even keep up to write here. Well, the main reason i firstly started blogging was for me to reminisce the memories of my past, in case i forgot them someday. Thats not the main story though.

So, lets flip through my past years as an architecture student days.Well, its been fun and tough all the way. Busy and free, alternately come and go . Realization and arrogance takes its troll . Drama and fights keeps knocking and not to mention the food for the soul. I think the biggest lesson learnt over the years is passion,hardwork and gameplayer is everything. You need to know how to play the game . how to seam through the pebbles and rocky mountain. Shall i say , in order to achieve that , u need to learn from your mistake. So if x buat salah, u never knew. Thats what i think la. Because , ive been a lepak2 student in early designing stage, but then it affect me so much in the middle stage and also i suffered a lot in the final stage. I luckily pass 2 years with a average score and make my way to third year with the same score . But then in my final sem, the thing that i thought will works just nice for me just doesn't do its justice anymore. Challenge and problem comes knocking and i always tend to find the easy way out . Yelah, siapa x suka bende senang kan. That minded is so wrong for me to realise. I need to be more bold, challenging , futuristic and functional. With the help of my support system , i finally managed to pass this semester again, with an average score. But seriously man, i feel incomplete. My works is not the best of me, and my thesis is so lacking in so many parts. For a few days after i submitted my final draft, I still cant shake the feelings incomplete and unready in me . Because i always picture someone who already have a degree will be a whole complete person with sufficient knowledge and power to takes the world. But yeah, sempurna will never happens. Impossibruuu even.

So, i finally free ! Free from everything in the world. I feels so great to be free but the next thing in coming is so bugging me in the head.Job, finance , car ,home ? how  how ? luls . Ive been home for only two weeks kot . relax lah dulu . haha . nah belanja gambar satu

mum would always know how to put good words on everything.

when do i get to be one ?

#hacewah

           Last year has been so much fun and colourful to be left. And i bet this year will be much much more colourful. In my 20-ies i have already know the tricks and games of homo-sapiens. That what 2013 had taught me. But then again getting through the years has left a few sad sad and sad moments of resentful,sorrows and pain. Getting through college is much much more than what i had thought before. 

And i thought modernism is just enough to create the unity in design...

i just hapens to know that i had ever lived among the most talented people !
wow moments now !
seriosly crazaaayyy !

seeing you,
i keep having thoughts..
that i would have been in that coat , in that shoes and in that crowd.
somehow it looks better in that picture.
and why would i compare yours to mine ??
i should have just flip it over and buried it deep..
but somehow i want to see how it colours
so i keep on seeing those with a slightly bit of regrets.
erm....

and i have decided to keep em in still
and let em to be just the way it is
to let me live
with more sense of appreciation in life...
to let me colours with gratitude
to let me walk with honesty
and to let me speak modestly

as i colours , it is more than what meets the eyes.




p/s : eh ai dah pandai berpuisi pulak >.<

 aman = ajib 

ini rasanya macam my own zaman pencerahan.

Tears is one hell of a thing where i cant see when it will really hit me.
It comes and wont stop easily....
lagi2 bila drawing sendiri ditumpahkan air,
"KESILAPAN TEKNIKAL" lah sangat -.-' and etc

And for an "unsangkarable" reasons,it comes and go...
hit and leave....
flow and gone......
And that one thing that we needed most.
is a hiding place.
And of course a tissue.

And lets just hope we will be strong as the time hit us one day.
Good day.
Salam

saya sekarang masih bersekolah.
Sekolah harkitekturrr sekudai namanya.
Kalau nak tahu,sekolah saya ni hari sekolah senin ngn jumaat jeww
yelah senin and jumaat design dari pagi sampei ptg 8credit baq hang.
hari2 lain amacm holiday siket.
holidey tapi banyak kerja sekolah.
dan sekarang kerja sekolah saya x siap lagi..
besok memang x sekolah tapi kerja sekolah x siap lagi

tp kdg2 mcm saya sekolah hari2
haktuih
lantak pi hang
kbai

i feel very sick today so i decided to go to the clinic, get a mc and sleep sleep sleep to recover my fever. BUT today is monday submission day ! so i have to go to the studio dulu pin up my drawings etc before leaving with my plan.

And for the record, first time in my life, i sleep early on the night of assessment day uoulsss ! HAHA amazing spiderman kaaaan ? >.< not really early,but i manage to finished my drawing around 1.30 am and stuck in front of the computer editing my computerised introductory story. Kene hantar jugak tu hokay introductory tuu....
So i macam dah sakit kepala gila temperature rise,not on mood,i decided to just go to sleep at 2am. Lantaklah tu besok je sambung.

And luckily,i woke up early as 6 realising i only have few hours left to finish editing.tup tap tup tap pukul 8.45 chow pegi kedai printing.print segala bagaaaaai with my half heavy head and badan pun panas.

9am
Ingatkan nak pin up pastu terus chow, lecturer i datang studio lah pulak pagi2 ni......aiseeyyy..lalu bermulalah kisah kritik mengkritik drawing alkisahnye....dan best lah pulak i kene touch up my drawing rendering balik. Ini semua sebab LILY yang render pekat gila tuuuu...But i am soo lucky to have my drawing correctly drawn.The angle blablabla. A few of my friends kene RE-DRAW kot ! sebab slah draw terbalik.haish bersyukur kehadrad ilahi my mind is working well walaupun buat bersin2 malas2.

1pm
finally finished rendering. Hamik kau lama siak nk render semua.

Go on with my plan petang ni langsung xnk pergi studio dah. Xnk attend assessment.

So i went to the pusat kesihatan universiti to amek antibiotik lah konon. Padahal shira dah cakap dah haritu antibiotik utk bacteria bukan virus macam demam ni...manalah aku tahu kaaan ak bukannya medical student to classify my case demam batuk selsema ni tahap bakteria or virus...so i tanpa segan silu ckp dekat doktor...

I: doc x boleh kasi sy antibiotik ke ? sy demam karang lama ni...dari hari jumaat.
D: mana ada lama baru 4 hari.

BARU 4 HARI ??????

ive been through hell working on my works in demam state kut -.-'

boleh pulak doctor tu gelakkan eden sebab mintak difflam as my throat lozeng. Die cakap difflam mahal, diorang bagi dequadin je...

Rasa macam bengang pulak.Malaysia boleh bagi beriban2 dekat boucher buku , rebate smartphone tp refuse to provide good medicine to his people ? Clarinase pun bagi severe strength je...

Bukan nak cakap ape,boucher buku tu mmg perlu,tapi mana ada orang nk beli buku ori..semua pakat photostat je...

sabaar jelah...

And that, is how i met the doctor

out of no-where,i want to be a writer..a journalist maybe.

mood : demam. kawan saya bakal doktor kata ini mungkin sebab stress -.-'

"bumi mana yang tidak ditimpa hujan"....course mana yang tak ditimpa stress.

seh.ki.an

selamat sejahtera keatas kamu

Thanks to you....
To you,the one that brought me here...
Here where i get to see the world in an unique view..
Very unique.Indeed

Through high and low we go...
Keep walking to the end even i dont know when i will finally reach there..
Could i really get through the thorns,cuts and bruises ?
Who knows...
Wallahualam.

They really talks deep.
Really deep where i absolutely know that is hell no.Not my level.
Even though my level is not at par where i could really see what they really meant yet.
It may require the eye of a poet kut which is faaaaaar beyond a pair of my recently formed panda eyes -.-' sobs sobs
But never fear, because i believe i will get there someday.Inshallah
The exposition will take time....

You manage to moved me.
Thanks to YOU.
Alhamdulillah.

p/s : PAM will be visiting us this year.Oh no ! Oh no ! Oh noooooooo !

I was being too emotional...
Being too emotional of only certain words...
maybe because it really hit me right.Right on the exact place...

And i should be more prepared mentally and emotionally whenever you're about to criticize my drawing...

"yalah bukan semua orang dilahirkan dengan bakat"

its not that i dont like you..
it just i dont really like what you did...
as what you did had become part of you..
so,i just dont like you..

and i am sorry to make it so obvious.
could'nt care less.
sekian